This Is FanFiction, Dude
by Jillessa Heronstairs
Summary: When Will, Jem, and Tessa are spending a day reading FanFiction, they encounter the strangest story they've ever read. From Tessa wanting to make out with Church, to Jem wearing a very scandalous piece of clothing, to a bucket of mud being dumped on Will, you never know what's going to happen next. This is just a random parody, so no hate please. Very OOC, modern times AU one shot.


**So, let me just say, before you read this, that this was a completely random parody. I don't even really know what I was thinking when I wrote it. But it was SO DAMN FUN. Sorry. Just.. I might have been high or something. Kidding. But this story... Is honestly the weirdest things I've ever written. Possibly ever. Like... You'll see... **

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**This Is FanFiction, Dude**

"That was the worst one so far," Will scowled, placing his laptop down on the coffee table in front of him and throwing his feet up onto the table in front of him. "When would I ever make out with Gabriel? That's disgusting."

"I've just read one where I die," Jem replied, frowning. "And one where I'm already dead. Man. This sickness thing really does have an impact on our fans. They all want me to die."

Will laughed, taking a handful of chips from the bag next to him. "I'm sure that's not the case, even if they do love me that much more than you. Maybe they just... Think it's honorable to die like that?"

"Probably not, Will," he said solemnly, though his eyes had a brightness behind them that wasn't normal for him, at least for after reading more crazy FanFiction stories about themselves.

"Oh well. At least you only died in the books, and not real life," Will laughed, his gaze traveling across the room, to the empty seat where Tessa usually sat. "Where's Tessa? Last I heard, she was reading some crazy good Heronstairs one. Well, she seemed to think so. I don't see the appeal of us making out. I'd rather save the world."

"It must be a girl thing," Jem shrugged, tossing his own laptop onto the couch next to him. "I'd much rather make out with Tessa."

Will grinned. "I guess we should go check on her? See how she's doing?" he asked, rather missing her sweet laugh whenever she came to a particularly funny part in her story.

"Sure," Jem said, standing up and heading to the her room in that back of the house. "Perhaps she would like some company."

When they got the back of the house, will knocked lightly on the door, and when Tessa shouted for them to come in, he opened the door slowly, walking inside and seeing her sitting at her desk, eyes focused on her laptop, reading yet another FanFiction story.

"You guys," she laughed, turning around and brushing her long brown hair from the side of her face, "I've found the funniest, weirdest story ever. You've just got to read it."

"What's it about?" Jem asked, moving over to the desk and placing one hand on her shoulder, though the gesture was as friendly as one could get.

"Don't tell me it's another one of those Gabrily ones," Will groaned flopping backwards onto her bed with a sigh. "Those are much too mind scarring. I have no desire to read about my sister and Gabriel making out."

Jem laughed, looking down at Tessa with a gaze that could only be described as pure adoration, but she didn't seem to notice. "I don't see how those are so bad. Don't you think the Heronstairs ones are a bit more disturbing for us personally, to read?"

"Of course not. Those are hilarious. Especially the kinky ones, with you and I getting it on," Will replied, a smirk on his face to tell that he was completely joking.

Tessa hid a smile, and motioned to her computer. "Do you guys want to read it? It's still up. Come over here, Will."

He lept off her bed, running over and standing next to her on at the side that Jem wasn't on. "You've gotten my hopes all up," he laughed, his Sapphire eyes sparkling. "This had better be good."

"I think it is," she replied, pushing the computer away from her slightly so all three could see. "It's very... Interesting..."

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This is FanFiction, Dude

_By The Best TID FanFiction Writer Out There_

It was a cold, winter day, and there were flurries of snow falling around the Institute. Wait. No. It was a scorching hot, sun beating day, and everyone was wearing bikinis and sunglasses and booty shorts. Even the guys.

_I'm kidding. That would be weird. And awkward. So never mind about that._

_Let's start again._

It was a normal day in London, the chilly air blowing down the streets, nipping at the skin and making you just cold enough to wrap your arms around yourself as you made your way down the street. The sky, even though the sun was hidden from sight, was bright, and the scenery reminded you of a sort of winter wonderland. The exact weather and mood you would imagine on Christmas, happy and cheerful, yet cold and enough to make you wish you were inside, wrapped by a fireplace.

_There. That's much better._

And what of the people who are the basis of our story? What of our wonderful Jem, with his sweet personality and soft words, and our amazing Will, with his passion and creativity? And how about Tessa, the one girl who is considered the luckiest girl, for she scored both super awesome (and hot) boys?

Why, they were inside the Institute, of course!

_Yes… I realize I just described the weather outside for no reason._

_Screw this. Let's get to the actual story, I'm so excited for that. Are you? What am I doing, talking here? This is the middle of a story, people! Just keep on reading!_

Will was sitting alone on the training room, sorting through a pile of daggers on the ground, trying to be helpful be sorting them and putting them back in their rightful place.

It wasn't working out well, He realized that he knew almost nothing about them, for they were never his specialty. He was need professional help for this job.

"Jem!" he yelled, his voice echoing down the hallway, bouncing off every painting and decoration in the corridors. "I need your help!"

Jem appeared, wearing nothing but a bright pink thong, his lips painted a cherry red, and a seductive smile on his face as he leaned against the doorway, "You called for me?"

Will smiled serenely, motioning for him to come over with a quick motion of his hand. "Of course. I always need you. Come here, hot stuff."

And then the making out began.

_Just kidding. I do that a lot. You'll see. I promise you. I'm completely sane._

What really happened, was that Jem came in minutes later, fully dressed, and saw Will's predicament, going over, and picking up a couple of the daggers, sliding them into their rightful places on the shelf. "You really need to learn," he sighed, glancing over at Will, who only handed him more knives. "You're never going to get anything done around here."

"Correction. I can read all the books and give you a detailed description of all of them," he smiled self deprecatingly. "You'll see. It's going to come in handy one day."

Jem rolled his eyes slightly. "Have you seen Church? I was supposed to give him a bath… But I can't seem to find him at this time."

"He's probably hiding from you. Or, someone finally caught him and stuffed him into a meat grinder. That's a possibility as well."

Jem smacked Will lightly on the shoulder, glaring lightly at him, as Tessa came in, rolling a stroller that contained nothing other than Church, dressed up like a baby, strapped into the basket of the stroller.

"What have you done?" Jem gasped, running over and staring down at the frustrated cat, struggling and yearning to get free from his restraints.

"He's my bae," she replied, picking Church up and holding the cat limply to her chest. "I love him. Can I keep him? He's so cute. Can I kiss him? Can I even-"

She was cut off when Jem grabbed the cat from her, and pushed her away. "No. If anyone is going to abuse him, it's gonna be me."

"All that I do, is not enough for you, don't want to lose it, cuz I'm not like that, and finally, you'll get to looovee, you see, it's gonna gonna gonna gonna, It's gonna be me!" Will sang loudly, his voice ringing through the room, as Tessa and Jem looked at him in horror.

"Jem, take away all of his N'Sync music," Tessa said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied, saluting her and turning back to Will.

_Did you really think that all just happened? Well, it didn't. I can't believe that you all fell for it. Well, actually, I can. I'm very convincing, you see. Kidding. Now, let's tell what really happened._

Tessa came in, holding Church in her hands, as far away from her, declaring that the monster cat had ripped her sheets to shreds. Jem had taken the cat, and that was about it.

_Now, isn't that boring? Isn't my version much better? I think so. Well, if my version is so much better, let's just read mine. No need to add in all the boring stuff that actually happened. Remember, Jem is still wearing a pink thong and red lipstick, and Tessa is still standing there, thinking up inappropriate things to do with Church. Poor Church._

So Tessa left, and Jem and Will stood by each other, noticing the slight frost on the windows, and a light clomping from down the halls, getting louder and louder by the second, as if it was a crescendo.

"Will! Jem!" Cecily cried, bursting into the room. "Do you guys want to have a snowball fight? It's going to snow later. Doesn't that sound fun? Gabriel said he would even join! Oh Will, you've just got to!"

Will smirked, and glanced over to the figure entering the room after her. "Gabriel. How art thou? Methinks thou art ready to be bombarded with snowballs!" he exclaimed, lunging towards the tall, yet rangy boy, but was restrained as Jem grabbed his arm and help him back, pulling him away from the other boy.

"Will! I need you to stop!" he yelled, and will froze, turning to Jem, who tugged at the string of his scandalous underwear uncomfortably. "You can't kill him! Remember, your sister is going to be married to this young man!"

Will's eyes blew wide, and he stared at him with the intensity of a LED flashlight. "WHAT!?"

Cecily backed away, and Jem placed a hand lightly on Will's shoulder, to prevent Will from grabbing one of the daggers and throwing it at Gabriel. And what if he happened to actually hit his target for once?

"Yeah... So," Gabriel said softly, his voice low and barely audible over Will's heavy breathing. "She's also going to have a kid..."

The news was too much for Will, and he passed out, and Jem leaned down to help him up, and called for Charlotte to come help.

And come help she did. Running into the room, she carried a bucket of what everyone thought to be water, but was actually mud, and the whole thing for dumped on top of Will, who woke up after a couple seconds, looking around cluelessly at the mud. "What the hell is this?!" he screamed, dragging his hand through it.

"Um... Mud," Jem answered, biting his bottom lip and looking away. "Don't you like mud?"

"I love mud!" he squealed, and rolled around it, making what some might call a 'mud angel'. "Isn't it just so pretty? I love it. Thank you for it. I like mud." he held some up to Jem's mouth. "You want a taste?"

Jem jumped up and away, going over to Tessa, who had once again gotten a hold of Church and was currently tormenting the cat by bouncing it up and down in her arms.

"Ew," Tessa said, glancing down at Jem and his current state, wearing a thong. "What came over you to wear that outfit?"

"Me? Talk about weird. You're the one making vague references to having an affair with a cat. I think that's much more weird."

She blushed, and turned away, pursing her lips at the cat in her hands, now struggling more than ever before, then answered the question honestly. "I have a thing for cats... Because they're just so sexy..."

"WHAT!?" Will yelled, but the whole though was cut off when Gideon ran through the room, hiding behind Gabriel, an pointed to the door, where Sophie ran in, a basket full of scones in her hand, and her clothes rumpled and messy.

"That bastard!" she screamed, throwing a scone and only succeeding to hit Gabriel in the eye. He doubled over, holding his eye, and the next scone hit Gideon straight in the forehead. "Try to make a move on me? I'll get you, you womanizer!"

He held his hands up, obviously scared of the girl threatening to pelt him with scones. "I never meant to seem like that. You're the only girl I care to womanize."

Tessa blinked, tearing her attention from Church for a split second. "Is that even a word?" she asked, looking confused. "This is the 1700s, you know."

"I came from the future," Gideon replied, blowing her a kiss. "Did you know there's such thing as time travel? Just kidding. Magnus told me that in the future, it's a word. Magnus is amazing. We should all go worship him."

"Then go seduce him, you worthless piece of cheese!" Sophie yelled, chucking more scones at him, her arm like a rapid fire gun. "And take these scones with you and knock him out!"

He backed away from her, running out of the room, muttering something under his breath about, "That sexy psycho killer."

Sophie rolled her eyes, picking up a scone and dipping it in the mud on the floor, before holding it from of Church, and letting the cat take a bite out of it.

"Ew," Tessa grimaced, moving the cat away from her. "I ain't kissing this thing no more. Would any of you guys like to take on my job as a cat pleaser?"

Jem took the cat from her, letting him lick his bare shoulder. "Oh well. I'm already in this thing already. Will! Want to make out with a cat? He's a very nice cat..."

Will shook his head to say no, rolling over in the mud in the floor. "I'd much rather make out with you. Or Tessa. Or Gabriel. Or Cecy."

"Yuck!" she exclaimed, covering her eyes as Gabriel wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "That's incest!"

"Come on, Cecily," Gabriel said, steering her out of the room. "Let's go get something to eat or something. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Snails," she decided. "Snails and crickets. Do you know any place that sells those? I've heard they taste like apples. Do you eat them raw, or fry them first?"

"Raw," Will replied from the ground. "And pick me up a box of rubber bands, will you? I want to build the world's largest rubber band ball."

" Why don't you just use Jem's thong?" Tessa suggested. "Its probably stretchy enough."

"Oh yeah," Will grinned, sitting up, "Jem, could I have your thong?" he said, though he meant for him to go change and them give it to him.

"Sure," he replied, slipping his fingers under the waistband.

"Wait," Tessa started to say, but it was too late.

Because he had already taken it off.

**The end**

_YOU GUYS LIKE MY STORY!? It's so much more interesting than normal stories, don't you think? :)_

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"That was… Interesting," Will said, pushing the computer away, back to Tessa. "And a little disturbing. Definitely the weirdest story I've read before. I don't even know what you were going to do to poor Church."

"Oh, you don't want to," she grinned, raising one eyebrow, and the three of them burst out laughing, Tessa leaning back in her seat, Jem and Will both collapsing to the floor, cracking up, tears coming to their eyes. "It's nasty."

"I can only imagine," Jem replied, as in his true self, he was not nearly as innocent as everyone made him out to be. "And imagine. Me in a thong. Now, who wants to see that?"

Tessa raised her hand, smirking sideways. "That would be so hot."

Will made a face, turning his back, "Get a room, you two. I know you want to. Don't mind me. Just go make out in the closet or something."

They all looked at each other for a second, though both Jem and Tessa's faces were flushed a deep red, and the room was silent, but it was only until Tessa broke the silence, and stated the obvious, that everyone in the room was thinking.

_"This is FanFiction, Dude."_

Anything can happen.

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**Like I said before, I don't mean for this to be actually taken seriously. It was just something I wanted to write, and had random ideas for. So please, I beg of you, no telling me that this story was horrible, and that it sucked. Because it was all for if you liked it... Feel free to leave a review. :)**

**And check out some of my other stories, that I plan to update really soon, once I get some free time. :)**

**~Jillessa Heronstairs~**


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